Charlie Guiteau (Jake) (charlieguiteau) wrote in dramaproject,
Charlie Guiteau (Jake)
charlieguiteau
dramaproject

Eva: A new play

A new play I wrote!

EVA: BY JAKE P.

(Lights up on a women's fashion part of a department store. Three Mannequins are set up showing off some clothes. One of them is in nothing but lingerie... this is EVA. Hi Eva. A clock on the wall states it's 3 P.M. and time for the afternoon shift to start. Perhaps a customer strolls around the clothes looking at the different clothing apparel. A worker stands ready to help any customer who needs help. But perhaps there's an alterior motive. This is HAROLD RACOR. He doesn't work in this department, but he's here anyway. Generally, he works in the Men's big and tall section. A new man walks in the store. This is ALBERT BIX. The first thing he sees is Eva in her lingerie. He lets out a small but significant gasp of disbelief and horror.)

ALBERT
Wha...? I...!
Harold sees his reaction and begins to quietly chuckle to himself.
ALBERT
YOU! Did you do this?
HAROLD
Do what?
ALBERT
Don't play stupid, Harold.
HAROLD
Are you calling me stupid?
ALBERT
N...no... I'm not calling you stupid, I'm saying you're PLAYING stupid!
HAROLD
I'm not going to be called stupid by a sicko like you!
ALBERT
I'm not a sicko, Harold! Did you do this?
HAROLD
Do what?
ALBERT
STOP IT, HAROLD! Please... tell me!
HAROLD
Tell you what?
ALBERT
Did you take the clothes off of her?
HAROLD
Who?
ALBERT
E...the mannequin!
HAROLD
What if I did?
ALBERT
Well... For one... this isn't your department... and... second... well... you ruined my display!
HAROLD
No, I didn't.
ALBERT
Yes you did!
HAROLD
No I didn't.
ALBERT
You took off all of her clothes! She isn't supposed to be in lingerie! That's Wednesdays! She's supposed to be in a very fashionable and in-season Red halter top with a long black skirt valuing at over $100. And you... you took it off of her!
HAROLD
Don't you mean "it"?
ALBERT
What?
HAROLD
You said her, she's not real... you mean "it", right?
ALBERT
I... Why are you here?! Go back to Men's big and tall!
HAROLD
There's nobody over there. I can see it from here.
ALBERT
Well... you... you're ruining MY work station!
HAROLD
You were late, I covered for you. Sheesh, try to do a guy a favor.
ALBERT
I wasn't la...
HAROLD
You got here at 3:04. Your shift starts at 3.
ALBERT
I got caught up... please... leave me alone.
HAROLD
Why? Are you going to be doing something other than standing here waiting for customers? Something you don't want me to see?
ALBERT
No! If you... If you don't go... I'm going to call Hannah!
HAROLD
What a tattle tale!
ALBERT
I'm not a... Leave me alone! Go back to Men's big and tall!
HAROLD
Ok.
ALBERT
Really?
HAROLD
Yeah... I'll go, Al.
ALBERT
My name is Albert. I don't like to be called Al. We talked about this.
HAROLD
Slipped my mind.
ALBERT
Well... ok... that's fine... but try to remember in the future.
HAROLD
Will do.
(He begins to walk off to the Men's big and tall section)
But first...
(He rushes towards Eva the mannequin and begins to dance with it)
ALBERT
(Let's out a "yeep" of horror)
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!
HAROLD
Just dancin' with a mannequin. Nothin' weird about that, right?
ALBERT
STOP IT!
HAROLD
Stop what?
ALBERT
STOP DANCING WITH EVA!
HAROLD
(He stops dancing with the Mannequin)
Eva?
ALBERT
...What?
HAROLD
You just said Eva.
ALBERT
No I didn't.
HAROLD
Yes you did.
ALBERT
Wh...wha...why would I say Eva?
HAROLD
Is that its name?
ALBERT
NO! LEAVE ME ALONE!
HAROLD
Alright... Let me just get one big kiss with "Eva" first. You don't mind do you?

(He attempts to dip and kiss the Mannequin (which is surprisingly difficult to do to something without joints) but Albert, overcome with rage, grabs Harold and punches him, open palm, in the face. He's obviously not used to hitting. Harold clutches his bleeding nose.)

ALBERT
You leave her alone or I'll...!
(Realizes Harold is bigger than he)
HAROLD
YOU THINK YOU CAN DO THAT TO ME?! YOU LITTLE...!
ALBERT
(While running through clothes racks trying to get away from Harold's clutches)
Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!
HANNAH runs over. She is the store manager and both Harold and Alberts boss.
HANNAH
(In a very loud, angry whisper)
WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING!?!?! YOU ARE ACTING LIKE CHILDREN IN A RESPECTABLE CLOTHING STORE!!!!
ALBERT
He started it!
HAROLD (ALMOST OVERLAPPING)
No he did!
ALBERT (ALMOST OVERLAPPING)
Did not!
HAROLD (ALMOST OVERLAPPING)
Did too!
ALBERT (ALMOST OVERLAPPING)
Did not!
HAROLD (ALMOST OVERLAPPING)
You did too!
ALBERT (ALMOST OVERLAPPING)
You are a liar!
HANNAH
I don't care who started it! I'm finishing it!
HAROLD
I'm bleeding because of him!
HANNAH
Why?
HAROLD
He punched me in the nose!
HANNAH
Did you punch him in the nose?
ALBERT
(After a long pause of just hand gestures and trying to figure out something to say)
He Had a hold of her!
HANNAH
Who?
ALBERT
(Realizes what he was about to say)
My Mannequin!
HANNAH
(Can't quite believe this)
SO WHAT?! We don't pay you to muck around! I have to write you up, now! I don't have a choice. Get back to work!
HAROLD
What about my nose?
HANNAH
You're fine. Get back to Men's B and T.
HAROLD
But...
HANNAH
B AND T!!!!
HAROLD
Fine.
(Starts to walk off)
I'll see you later... AL.
HANNAH
(To Albert)
Get back to work. One more incident like that and, rest assured, I will fire you. Have no doubt.

(She exits. Albert watches her leave. He then looks over to Men's big and tall where Harold has just given him some sort of hand gesture. Albert signs something back. Have fun with that. Wink :-). Albert shrugs him off and looks back at Eva, the mannequin.)

ALBERT
(To Eva)
I'm sorry... I'm so sorry! Don't look at me that way. Please don't be so hard on me. I had to lie! I couldn't help it. If I get fired, who'll look after you, Dear? I had something to tell you too... You want to know? You really want to know? Wait... look at you! You're naked! Let me get some clothes on you.
(He begins to pick out clothes straight from the rack)
How about this today? I... I know you like the green, but this matches your blue eyes better. I'll put this on you. You'll love it, I promise.
(He begins to dress the Mannequin)
I'm sorry I was late. And no, I'm not seeing anyone else or anything. I just got caught up in traffic. Did you sleep well last night? What did you dream about? Did you dream about the house? I love it when you look at me that way.
(Pause)
You're so perfect. You always know just the thing to say. You can listen. Some girls don't have that ability... but you do. You listen... To everything I say. So beautiful... So... so beautiful.
(Steps a bit away from her.)
What's wrong with me? Am I crazy?
(Steps back)
I didn't say anything.

(A customer approaches him. Albert doesn't notice her.)

CUSTOMER
Excuse me...?
ALBERT
(Quickly covers up Eva as if he was doing something dirty in his bedroom and his mom came in without knocking that one time when I was 13... no, just kidding... sort of.)
Hmm? Wha? YES?
CUSTOMER
...what were you doing?
ALBERT
Nothing.
CUSTOMER
You were talking to that mannequin.
ALBERT
No... no I wasn't.
CUSTOMER
Yes you were.
ALBERT
Nope. Wasn't.
CUSTOMER
Then who were you talking to?
ALBERT
I was talking to... somebody else.
CUSTOMER
Who?
ALBERT
I was talking to...Fred.
CUSTOMER
There's nobody else around.
ALBERT
I'm Fred. My name is Fred.
CUSTOMER
You're Fred?
ALBERT
Yes.
CUSTOMER
You refer to yourself in the third person?
ALBERT
N... Yes... I do.
CUSTOMER
Then why does your name tag say Albert.
ALBERT
It doesn't.
CUSTOMER
Yes it does, It's right there.
ALBERT
(Quickly switches to sales mode)
Can I help you find something Ma'am?
CUSTOMER
I'm looking for clothes.
ALBERT
That's good when you're in the clothing section. It means you're on the right track.
CUSTOMER
(A chuckle or friendly knowing smile.)
Where are the blouses?
ALBERT
Right over there. Are you looking for any specific kind?
CUSTOMER
No. Just browsing. My daughters wedding is coming up, I'm just looking. But thank you.
ALBERT
No problem. If you need anything, my name is Al...Fred. Alfred.
CUSTOMER
I thought you said it was Fred.
ALBERT
Fred is a nick name... for Alfred... which is what my name is.
CUSTOMER
Oh.
ALBERT
I'll be over here.
CUSTOMER
By the mannequin, right?
ALBERT
Ye... Yes. But me being next to the mannequin has nothing... to do with... nothing. I'll be over here.

(He walks back to his place next to Eva. The customer continues to browse the clothing. Albert glances back at her every now and then to make sure she isn't looking at him. He nonchalantly whispers in Eva's ear.)

ALBERT
Sorry about that, sweetie. I love you. I don't care if she knows it, I really don't. Just sometimes, I don't quite know how to put it so they'll understand. You understand. Yes... you do... You understand everything.

(A triumphant laugh is heard offstage where Harold is working in the Men's Big and Tall. He runs in with a magazine in his hand. It looks like a Readers Digest. He taunts Albert with it, who has no idea with what he's getting taunted.)

ALBERT
What... Stop!
HAROLD
I've got you now! I've got you now!
ALBERT
Who are you, The Penguin? What do you mean "I've got you now"?
HAROLD
I knew you'd slip up, you sicko.
ALBERT
I'm not a sicko!
HAROLD
Yes you are! I've got proof!
ALBERT
P...Proof?
HAROLD
You and that... thing!
ALBERT
What are you talking about?
HAROLD
Do you know what this is?
ALBERT
Heads Up weekly?
HAROLD
WRONG! It's... oh... no- it's Heads Up weekly.
ALBERT
I know, I can read.
HAROLD
It's the newest issue of Heads Up weekly!
ALBERT
So?
HAROLD
Do you read Heads Up weekly?
ALBERT
Not really.
HAROLD
I think you do.
ALBERT
Nope.
HAROLD
Not even the advice column
ALBERT
(Faint quivering in his voice)
Ad...advice column?
HAROLD
Yeah.
ALBERT
N...no.
HAROLD
Did you ever write a letter to them?
ALBERT
To the advice column?
HAROLD
Yeah.
ALBERT
I... no.
HAROLD
Really?
ALBERT
...
HAROLD
I think you're lying Al, and I have the evidence to prove it.
ALBERT
W...Why do you keep saying that?
HAROLD
They published your letter. What an idiot!
ALBERT
I'm not a idiot!
HAROLD
You wrote a letter like this! You are an idiot!
ALBERT
They... they published my letter?

(Albert cowers back to Eva where he clutches her hand. Scared to death and breathing heavily, he's too scared to speak. )

HAROLD
Oh yeah, Al, They answered it too!
ALBERT
W... I... Wh...
HAROLD
What's that? You want me to read it for the store?
ALBERT
N...I...

(Harold walks over to the store speaker phone usually reserved for "Assistance in aisle five needed" and "Clean up in the toy department" As he reads aloud the stores loudspeaker amplifies everything he says.)

HAROLD
Attention all customers! Attention all customers! This is Harold, your helpful sales associate, from your Men's Big and Tall section, Right by the men's jeans. I'd like to tell you all about Albert Bix. He just had a letter printed in Heads Up Weekly! Very reputable! Unfortunately, it's only a letter to their Advice column. It reads:
(He coughs and prepares his throat. Albert can't quite conceive what's going on.)
Dear Sir, Excuse me writing to you, but you say write your difficulties. I AM IN LOVE!
(Adds his own commentary)
Isn't that sweet?
(Back to the letter)
Only, my love is not like others. I work in a department store. You know the artificial ladies in the department store windows? My love is one of those ladies. Surely, it is not much different from falling in love with a film star. I have been at this job for four years, no one really to talk to. She seems to know everything I say. She has those very long blue eyes, thinking about the rocky blue ocean, but very kind. After all, What do you really want with a girl if not higher things? Anyway, what is it they make all the fuss about- Nothing! I am not crazy! She is what I want. Not everybody wants a lot of chatter and a family. I would take her home, but they cost $600, you might as well cry for the moon. Besides, they would call me crazy. Or say I wanted it for immoral purposes. IT IS NOT LIKE THAT. Please tell me, Sirs, if you think they're right, is there something wrong with me? Yours truly, Love sick in Cleveland.

(Hannah rushes in. Dumbfounded. Not sure whether to be more mad at Harold for that blatant act of defiance over the loudspeaker, or disgusted by Albert for his... affair. )

HAROLD (CONT'D)
(Seeing Hannah)
This concludes our announcement. Thank you all for listening.
Harold quickly hangs up the phone and goes over to Hannah, he is about to make up an excuse. Hannah is too upset to even begin to think about possibly considering listening.
HAROLD
Hannah, listen...
HANNAH
(Just starts sprouting off random words and sounds to prohibit Harold from speaking. It's beyond angry, it's livid.)
Ugabadafasamanel! Du du du du du!
(Albert tries to go over to talk to her, but she merely does the same thing, except instead of anger it's out of disgust and awkwardness. There is no consoling some people.)
DON! YOU!

(The customer, who has been here the whole time and has listened to everything Harold said. She looks at Albert almost sadly with a faint understanding. Where did that come from?)

CUSTOMER
And I thought I was only getting a blouse...

(Hannah rushes to the speaker and picks it up in a very Bumbling way. She presses the button and nearly screams into the phone. She is the manager and has no idea how to handle this situation. A bit to awkward and intense.)

HANNAH
Ladies and gentlemen. This is Hannah, your friendly, helpful store manager. I am... incredibly... Incredibly sorry for... THAT. I guarantee that that was no employee of our fine staff here. Please disregard the message... and for the next 10 minutes... all designer tees are 20% off! Thanks for shopping with us! HAHA!
(She slams the phone down on the reciever.)

(Hannah paces and talks to herself. Harold, the customer, and Albert just watch. All are too afraid to stop her. Albert finally steps forward.)

ALBERT
Ummm... Hannah?
HANNAH
NO! Don't! I have to figure out what to do?
HAROLD
What's the big deal?
HANNAH
What's the big deal?!? YOU JUST BASICALLY READ A PERVERSE NOTE OVER THE LOUD SPEAKER!! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?! YOU CAN'T DO THAT!!! YOU! OUT! FIRED! GO!
ALBERT
Well... in...
HANNAH
AND YOU!!! Is... is it true? Please... Albert... please, it's not... right? You didn't... really... I mean...
ALBERT
Well... it's...
HAROLD
You can't fire me!
HANNAH
Yes... I can. I just did.
HAROLD
Wait!
HANNAH
Albert, is it true?
HAROLD
Yes it is! The sicko loves a mannequin!
HANNAH
Shut up, Harold! Albert, is it true? Do you... do you love a mannequin?
Albert honestly can't say anything. He's petrified.
HAROLD
Of course it's true, just look at him!
HANNAH
Is it true?
ALBERT
(Long beat. Finally)
Yes.
HANNAH
You... love... a mannequin?
ALBERT
Yes.
HANNAH
Why?
ALBERT
I don't know.
HANNAH
Go. Your fired. Get out.
ALBERT
You can't fire me.
HANNAH
Yes I can! Both of you are fired!

(Both Albert and Harold begin to speak to Hannah at once protesting their firing.)

ALBERT (OVERLAPPING)
I can't go!
HAROLD (OVERLAPPING)
You don't want to fire me!
ALBERT (OVERLAPPING0
Please don't make me leave!
HAROLD (OVERLAPPING)
I've worked here 2 years!
ALBERT (OVERLAPPING)
I can't leave. I don't know what would happen. I'd die!
HAROLD (OVERLAPPING)
Who would run the Men's Big and Tall section?
ALBERT
(Harold stops talking right before he says this and it seems to echo)
I CAN'T LEAVE HER! SHE NEEDS ME!
Albert looks around wildly and rushes off to the back of the store, undoubtedly to hide.
HANNAH
Albert!
(She takes out her walkie talkie)
Security? This is Hannah, Please begin a store search for Albert Bix.

(She hangs up the walkie talkie. Hannah walks over and looks at the mannequin. Nobody talks for a while. The customer doesn't quite know what's going on or what to make of the situation.)

CUSTOMER
(After a long beat)
So... all tees are 20% off, or just the designer ones?
HAROLD
Listen, I'm sorry... it'll never happen again, I was just having some fun!
CUSTOMER
On second thought, don't worry about it.

(Hannah just sits on the floor and puts her face into her hands and begins to silently sob. Harold goes and sits beside her. He looks around and smiles slightly. He puts his arm around her. Harold is a manipulative bastard. )

HAROLD
I'm sorry. It wasn't that bad of a note! I won't tell if you don't!
(Through the tears, Hannah chuckles a little bit)
There's a smile. Come on, you don't want to fire me. It would be horrible to have to train a whole new men's big and tall salesman. Am I right?

(Hannah continues to cry, but is more willing to accept this support. Harold knows what he's doing... shmuck.)

HANNAH
You don't understand! It's not easy doing my job! I have to deal with customers, Work out problems, make sure everything's running smoothly! It's not easy! I don't have what it takes. Things like this make it that much harder!
HAROLD
Of course you do. You're a great boss! You handled that fine!
HANNAH
Really?
HAROLD
Yeah.
HANNAH
Thanks.
HAROLD
So am I still fired?
HANNAH
I don't know...
HAROLD
Come on...
HANNAH
I have to...
HAROLD
You sure?
HANNAH
You're on probation.
HAROLD
There we go.
HANNAH
Indefinately.
HAROLD
I can live with that.

(Harold touches Hannah's knee and then hand. Hannah looks at Harold's hand. Hannah and Harold look at each other in the eyes. Harold brushes away hair from Hannah's face and they slowly both lean in and kiss. )

HANNAH
We can't do this! We're at work! We're being paid!
HAROLD
Yeah, totally! I don't know what came over me!
HANNAH
Us.
HAROLD
What?
HANNAH
What came over us.
HAROLD
Oh, yeah, what came over us.
HANNAH
I don't know, either.
HAROLD
(Changes focus to mannequin)
Why?
HANNAH
I don't know, it just...
HAROLD
No, not that.
HANNAH
What?
HAROLD
Why a mannequin?
HANNAH
What?
HAROLD
Albert. He's in love with a mannequin.
HANNAH
A mannequin.
HAROLD
Its name is Eva?
HANNAH
What?
HAROLD
He named it Eva.
HANNAH
Who?
HAROLD
The mannequin.
HANNAH
Eva...
HAROLD
Yeah.
HANNAH
You knew this? You knew all this was happening and you never told anybody? That's serious business! He could have had serious mental problems! He could have been a time bomb about to explode! He could have brought in a gun and shot up the store!
HAROLD
It's a big store...
HANNAH
Harold! Answer!
HAROLD
I... didn't really know... I just... made fun of him for it.
HANNAH
I see.
HAROLD
Sorry.
HANNAH
It's ok.
HAROLD
A Mannequin.
HANNAH
A Mannequin.
CUSTOMER
(Finally speaking up)
So?
HANNAH
What?
CUSTOMER
So what?
HANNAH
What do you mean?
CUSTOMER
So what if he's in love with a mannequin?
HAROLD
What do you mean? He's in love with an inanimate object! You don't see ANYTHING wrong with that?
CUSTOMER
I see lots of stuff wrong with that. But what your missing is what's right about it.
HAROLD
There's something right about "Manne-love"?
CUSTOMER
Yes.
HAROLD
What could possibly be right about it?
CUSTOMER
I used to be a secretary. And there was this big painting that hung on the wall facing my desk. Day in and day out I would look at that painting. A landscape of 2 boys playing on the beach and their father stands there, looking almost out of the portrait while his sons play behind him. He was mysterious. He was beautiful.
(To Hannah)
Have you ever been in love?
HANNAH
No.
CUSTOMER
Neither had I. But, everyday, I'd look into this mysterious man's eyes and wish. I wish he'd come and take me away. I fell in love with him. I had problems and he listened. He listened. I could tell him anything. He wouldn't accuse me or think of me any differently. He'd just look at me with those sad, forgiving eyes and tell me I was his baby, even though he didn't say anything. One day, I came to work, and the picture was gone. It was replaced by this abstract piece of trash that I didn't understand. I would look at this piece of art and cry, because it had nothing. I became obsessed with finding the other painting. I needed it. But by the time I finally got the courage to look for it... it was long gone. Nobody knew where it was. I lost my one true love. I'd give anything for that love again. It was so true, so pure because it was what I made it. In his eyes, I could do no wrong. I gave him love with every fiber of my being, and returned it in full.
HANNAH
(After a beat)
Did you ever find it?
CUSTOMER
No. I lost him.
HANNAH
I'm sorry.
CUSTOMER
It's okay. It was a long time ago.
HAROLD
You...ARE insane. You know that, right? You're aware you are insane?
CUSTOMER
So what if I am? I was happy.
HAROLD
Insane but happy.
CUSTOMER
Right.
HAROLD
O...k...
HANNAH
Are you married?
CUSTOMER
Yes.
HANNAH
Have you ever told him?
CUSTOMER
No.
HANNAH
Why not?
CUSTOMER
You know why not...
Hannah and Harold stay close together as the woman bids the farewell and is on her way.
HANNAH
I'm just a clothing store manager. This is way to much.
HAROLD
Yeah.
HANNAH
Yeah.
HAROLD
Have they found Albert, yet?
HANNAH
I don't know, they haven't walkie talkied me yet, so I assume not.
HAROLD
I guess... I guess I'll get back to work. I see somebody that needs big and tall clothing. He's not hard to miss.
HANNAH
(Chuckles)
Yeah. You should do that.

(Harold begins to walk off but then stops. He turns back to Hannah who has, in turn, turned towards Eva and is looking at her with almost a curious admiration.)

HAROLD
Hannah?
HANNAH
Yes?
HAROLD
Would you like to... Do something... later... maybe?
HANNAH
(Stares at Eva for a little bit then responds)
Yes. I would like that.

(Harold walks towards her and gives her a kiss, right in front of Eva, the three almost create a triangle. Harold walks off. Over the walkie-talkie we hear "he's been caught and is being escorted out of the store" Or something like that to let the audience know that Albert was found and escorted out, but nothing more. Hannah is saddened by this fact. Perhaps she wipes away a tear or something.)

HANNAH
(To Eva)
I'm sorry...
HAROLD
They got him! They got the crazy idiot.
HANNAH
What?
HAROLD
I said they got the crazy guy.
HANNAH
Where was he?
HAROLD
I don't know, I saw them taking him out.
HANNAH
Oh.
HAROLD
Yeah.
He comes forward and she kind of steps away a little bit.
HAROLD
...What?
HANNAH
Nothing.
HAROLD
Five minutes have passed... nothing's changed... why are you stepping away?
HANNAH
I'm not...
HAROLD
Yes you are.
HANNAH
Why is he crazy?
HAROLD
What?
HANNAH
Why is he crazy? Albert.
HAROLD
The man... fell in love... with a mannequin!
HANNAH
So?
HAROLD
Inanimate love is Crazy love.
HANNAH
(Looks at Harold for a second and reconsiders.)
You know what, I'm pretty booked, I don't think I can do anything later.
HAROLD
What?
HANNAH
Yeah.
HAROLD
Because of that sicko?
HANNAH
Yes. Because of that sicko.
HAROLD
That doesn't make any sense.
HANNAH
Maybe not to you.
HAROLD
What makes sense about falling in love with a God Damned mannequin.
HANNAH
I don't know, Harold. I don't know. Love doesn't have to make sense, I suppose. I didn't think Albert was crazy. A bit on the eccentric side, I suppose, but certainly not crazy. He never Defecated in the aisles. He never claimed space aliens were in his head. He was poignant, he was almost always on time, he was nice, he was good to talk to.
HAROLD
He was in love with a mannequin!!!
HANNAH
You keep saying that! So what? So what? So he did something that was unconventional! It worked for him! He was happy! He wasn't hurting anybody else! And you... you ruined it. You ruined his life. I think people who go around ruining other people's lives are crazy. How could I ever think of liking you?!
HAROLD
Hey, you kissed me.
HANNAH
Did I?
HAROLD
Yeah.
HANNAH
No. You...
HAROLD
What?
HANNAH
You took advantage of me.
HAROLD
What?
HANNAH
(She's disgusted)
Yeah. You're little hand touching... you were... you...
HAROLD
I...
HANNAH (VICIOUSLY)
You what?
HAROLD
I don't know.
HANNAH
He was a good person. You keep calling him a crazy and a sicko and a pervert and insane. You're the sicko. You're insane. He was a good person. He was happy. Isn't that what love is supposed to do? Make you happy? Well?
HAROLD
Yes.
HANNAH
But you wouldn't know anything about that, would you? Would you?
HAROLD
(Harold is scared for, literally, his life. She's right about everything.)
...
HANNAH
Why did you hate him so much?
HAROLD
What?
HANNAH
Why couldn't you just let it go?
HAROLD
I... I don't know...
HANNAH
You're sick.
HAROLD
I know.
HANNAH
Sicko.
HAROLD
Sorry.

(Hannah has nothing else to say. She's livid. She tries to continue but can't. What's the point? She's made her point. Harold understands. She turns to walk out.)

HAROLD
Where are you going?
HANNAH
To go get Albert.

(Hannah walks off leaving Harold on stage by himself. He thinks about what Hannah just said to him. He looks off to make sure there are no customers in Men's Big And Tall. There aren't, don't worry. He looks at Eva. He looks at it a different way. This way. That way. Nothing. He shakes his head and laughs at himself in disbelief. She really had him going! Yeah...she did. Didn't she? Hannah slowly walks back on stage. Harold's to engrossed to notice.)

HANNAH
Albert's being taken to the hospital.
HAROLD
(Jumps when he notices her there.)
What?
HANNAH
Albert's being taken to the hospital.
HAROLD
Alb... What are you talking about?
HANNAH
He tried to get away from the cops. It looked like he was trying to get back in here, I think. He had handcuffs on and he tripped and stumbled into traffic. A car hit him.
HAROLD
Oh. Wow.
HANNAH
Yeah. Wow.
HAROLD
Is he ok?
HANNAH
He didn't look ok.
HAROLD
Oh.
HANNAH
Go back to work.
HAROLD
What?
HANNAH
Just... just go back to work. There's nothing else.
HAROLD
I...
HANNAH
It's been a long day. I have a lot of stuff to do.
HAROLD
Ok.
HANNAH
Just go back to work.
HAROLD
Ok.

(Harold starts to walk away but looks at Eva and stops. He cocks his head sideways. Hannah begins to walk off. )

HAROLD
Huh. Hannah.
Hannah walks back and looks at him. He continues to look at the mannequin.
HANNAH
Just go back to work, Harold.
HAROLD
Look.
HANNAH
Harold.
HAROLD
Just look!
HANNAH
What?
HAROLD
Look at it.
Hannah looks up at Eva. She notices it too.
HAROLD
There's something different about it.
HANNAH
There is something different about it.
HAROLD
What is it?
HANNAH
I don't know...
HAROLD
She looks sad or something... The mannequin...
HANNAH
Eva...
HAROLD
Eva...

(Lights slowly fade on the stage as Harold and Hannah look at the Beautiful Woman named Eva.)

End.

All comments and criticism is very much appreciated. I need all the help I can get, y'know?

x-Posted all over the place
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