xerxes1980 (xerxes1980) wrote in dramaproject,
xerxes1980
xerxes1980
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Some opening lines to a new one act

These are some opening lines to my new one act. Please share any thoughts or suggestions.
Thanks


The lights rise to a room that is blandly painted white with a black door, two chairs and two men in the room.

PETEY

What the hell?

STRANGER
(sitting and reading a newspaper)

Just sit down and relax. You’ve got a long wait ahead of you.

PETEY

Who are you?

STRANGER
(putting down his paper for a second)

Will you just relax?

PETEY
(pointing his finger)

How can I relax? I don’t even know where I am?

STRANGER

It doesn’t matter where you are. Just relax. You’re going to be here a while.

(puts his paper back up and resumes reading)

PETEY

Who are you?

STRANGER
(still reading the paper)
Who are you?

PETEY

My name is Peter, everyone calls me Petey. You’re turn.

STRANGER

Eh, it doesn’t matter, we don’t know each other.



PETEY

That’s funny, because you look familiar.

STRANGER

Maybe so, maybe not.

PETEY

So what’s the harm in telling me you’re name?

STRANGER

Because at the moment, it’s really not important.

PETEY

How so?

STRANGER

I would think that a bigger issue is that you don’t know where you are or what it is exactly that we’re waiting for.

PETEY

Great! So you have no idea where we are or what we’re doing here either?

STRANGER

Nope.

PETEY

How can you be so calm about it?

STRANGER

Given the fact that the door over there is locked and there’s no other way out, I really don’t have another choice. Neither do you for that matter.

(light shines DSR to reveal a white door with a white knob)



PETEY
(running towards door and trying it)

Why didn’t you say something earlier?

(finding the door is locked, begins pounding on it)

STRANGER

Well, the door is locked. So, I figured, why mention a locked door?

PETEY
(pounding on the door and trying to pull it open)

Maybe, we could have busted that door down.

STRANGER

It’s no use, Petey.

PETEY
(still pounding on the door)

Well, if you’d lend a hand…

(begins kicking at the door)

STRANGER

No thanks, I generally don’t deal in lost causes.

PETEY

Thanks for nothing.

STRANGER

Just sit down, already. You’re wasting your time and energy.

PETEY

That’s nothing new to me, I’ve been doing that my whole life.
(sitting down)


STRANGER

This just isn’t interesting enough for me.
(putting down the paper)
So, what’s your deal, anyway?

PETEY

Um, how about the fact that I don’t know where the fuck I am or why I’m here.

STRANGER

That really isn’t a reason to be so irritable, is it?

PETEY

I do not understand how you could be so calm.

STRANGER

Getting agitated just makes me sweaty and faint. It’s rather unpleasant, so I generally try to avoid it altogether.

PETEY
(wiping his forehead and visibly sweaty)

I guess I’m just used to being generally agitated.

STRANGER

You ever read the book Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff?

PETEY
No, I don’t read much anymore.

STRANGER

That’s a shame. Reading is aerobics for the mind. You really should read more.

PETEY

My mom used to say that all of the time. She was a librarian.




STRANGER

Well, she was a very wise woman.

PETEY

I have to get out of here.

STRANGER

What is possibly so important that you can’t just sit here a while and be patient?

PETEY

Well, I do have to wash my hair…and I left that pot on the stove. I guess you’re right, nothing important.
(gets up and begins fiddling with the door)

STRANGER

You really ought to quit messing with that door.

PETEY

(receives an electric jolt and falls to the ground)

Holy shit!

STRANGER

Kind of.

(gets up and gives PETEY a hand off of the floor)

It’s really purgatory.

PETEY

So I was right! Purgatory is really some kind of shitty waiting room.

(gets up and shivers)

Where’s the cruddy muzak?

(some Burt Bacharach begins to play)


PETEY
Almost on cue.

STRANGER
(sits back in his seat)

Well, purgatory is pretty much whatever you want to make of it. So if you think it’s a waiting room, that’s what you’re going to get.

PETEY

Quit being a smartass and help me get out of here.

STRANGER

I’ve been here and done it all before Petey, it’s no use.

PETEY

How long have you been here?

STRANGER

I don’t know, time flies when you’re having fun.

PETEY

Yeah, because I’m having a spectacular time!

STRANGER

You know, you could have at least thought purgatory had hot women in it, then we really would be having a spectacular time.

PETEY

I’m sorry. I also thought purgatory was the life I was living. I thought that the world was just a place to park it until the power or powers that be thought of what to do with you.


STRANGER

Nope.

PETEY

Ever so helpful.

STRANGER

I’m not really here to be helpful.

PETEY

What are you here for?

STRANGER

To keep you company while you decide.
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